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UNDERGROUND VOICES: POETRY
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COLIN POPE
A Dream or Nightmare Awake I took the morning to mean that the world had finally forgotten about me. In the mirror I looked through my eyes to find nothing wrong, I mapped the curse of my face on a palette shaped like a handprint. There is no credibility to finding a new season out the window, any season and especially a wind that throws the flowers into a panic. I checked the phone to see if it was ringing. I opened the door as a car rushed over the pavement towards a place where it would inarguably stop. I stuck my finger outside and it was like stirring a bowl of warm water. How anyone could ever tell what temperature it was is beyond me. And I had a terrible feeling as I turned back – it was like everything was watching me without caring and my breath sucked up into the trees like newspaper, never wanted to be in my chest. But I had a terrible feeling just then that the door wanted to swing free circle itself and breathe and see as I pushed it gently closed. Bramble to find the place where the child will hide to know that the streaks of darkness that once held to their colors as bricks hold to silhouettes of leaves to know that here is the comfort of lost birds on their way to or from new homes the cause of wind becomes so suddenly clear when this empty cup of dreams against the world sings To the Teacher at the Continuing Education Annex Who Told the Class to Shut Up A younger me would’ve told you to fuck yourself then left the door hanging wide-mouthed with a middle finger on its tongue. Young me would’ve rolled outside to scream like a meteor pounding the sidewalk and might’ve built a secret fortress of hate under your chair as I waited for the ghost of your evil soul to evaporate behind you like milk into a hot night of coffee. All things considered now. Instead of feeling the vomit of rage tack its curtains in my stomach, there’s a question of diminishing returns, how the porchlight of my life casts your shadow dimly on my future somewhere, a silhouette of knowledge on the house of me. And of course I am still trying not to be young. I keep thinking this picture of myself as a tiny man, standing on a stack of books that tell the stories of my years reaching up for the doorknob. And there is you, too dear teacher, whose advice for me was today to shut up, advice which I have to now follow knowing that it’s not really you who wants to pull rank – it’s me years from now, tired, possessed with my own weight of ten thousand pitchforks behind from all the demons I’ve been dragging to this place, this city of knowledge where no one has the time to explain. Colin Pope’s work has appeared or is forthcoming in Oak Bend Review, Night Train, Red Rock Review, Words on Paper Online, and Zaum. In 2008, he won the Rose Fellowship from Texas State University and the Santa Barbara Poetry Conference Scholarship. He is an editor at Front Porch Literary Journal and currently resides in Texas. |
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© 2004 - 2009 Underground Voices |
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