Your loss was a blessing in disguise

your embryonic dissolution
was the only thing that saved you

you had sense enough to avoid the inevitable destruction

I could not have bore you;
brought you innocently into the world
and poisoned you with my disease--
my negativity
my blackened outlook on things,
stomach always tightening with angst
mind sharply twisting with psychotic disillusion;
the very formula my own mother fed me
the path she led me down...
I could not make the same mistake with you

I could not take that chance
and I think you knew

you escaped the waiting noose;
the one that would only grow tighter
with each passing year,
the rope by which I now hang
too far gone to change my ways,
biding my time until the end of the world

or, at least the end of mine

Cynthia Ruth Lewis is once again poisoning the underground scene after a 2-year hiatus. She currently resides in Sacramento, CA.

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