A Similar Vein
(for J.J.)

At first reading,
I felt like I'd had the wind knocked
out of me;
a clean, swift blow to the gut--
here was someone putting all my rage
my angst and frustration into form,
an unruffled flow of words,
desperate statements; confessions;
rhythm of the blood singing to me

the magic in those poems,
the way the words fit into each other
like puzzle pieces;
the fury with which they were written
excited and energized me,
touched the base of my spine and skull
with 110 volts

those words represented something
I didn't know how to express,
something I was feeling all along,
like an erratic heartbeat
or a wild pulse I couldn't quite
put my finger on;
hatred, tension and frustration
all rolled into one

I never knew what to call it,
I only knew I thought differently
from other people,
wanting to destroy, to obliterate
everything in my path,
to scream until I'd no voice left...

and that was on a good day

I finally felt as if I'd poured
out my soul to a therapist
and they gave me permission
to feel the way I felt;
they gave me a reason,
an open door

now I slit my wrists and gut my soul
upon the page every day,
all the outpourings of my being
finally forming into cohesive trains
of thought firmly on track,
chugging out into the endless
depths of the world,
the wind now at my back...

I am no longer alone

The Art of Shedding Tears

That's your opinion--

I'm not an asshole just because
I laugh at people who waste time
in writing classes hoping to be
the next Ginsberg or Bukowski

Hey, I'm all for the desire to
convey emotion through the written word,
but you think you can corner the market
on lunacy and pain gleaned from
pages in a textbook?

Those aspects don't come easy,
my friend;
there isn't a soul on earth
who can teach you how to bleed

I'm 38, having written poetry for the past 17 years.
Currently back in the publishing world after having
taken a 2 year hiatus due to creative apathy and
temporary insanity--which, actually may have enhanced
my writing. It has certainly enhanced my weirdness.

2006 Underground Voices