Predetermined Death

The night is well-illuminated
The door is just one gentle shove away
The floors are not greasy and wonít make you slip
Nor are they harsh so that you make a sound
But feel welcome to make one- I will start singing a song
I wish we could converse with one another- or howsoever many you are
The flight of stares is Italian marble- donít waste time glaring at it
I am the real sufferer- not the victim- you are just desperate and in need
I understand- and I want you to be careful while walking up-
For my death depends on your life- it is very necessary that you live
You reach the top and you see two dogs tied to the pantry door
Donít feel intimidated- Iíve adequately sedated them
You will hear a man snoring- he is my drunken father
My mother is alive- yes he is not alone- but she sleeps hard
Spare them- and their miserable lives- Iíve looted all the money
It's eagerly awaiting for you- Iíve crushed the wads in my hands
Itís a little heavy- sweaty- but your landlord will accept it
Or your partner in crime waiting at home-
Covering your cold, inedible food- or whatever you call it with the drape of her garment
or the car-dealer where you first decided that the heavy wheels of dreams-
will have to go over my body- you can hear the jangling of the brand new keys
But you resist-or desist- faith doesnít allow you time- and you open the first door
On the right- you see me- with my wrists slashed- and drunk on rum and valium
I forgot that youíd have to wash and iron the notes- pray they are serviceable
You look at me- surprised- you take out your rifle- I feel elated
You tear the bullet through my head and a part of my cerebral chunk flies over
And sticks to the computer- you grab the notes fitfully- and take one look at that
bloody , gooey mass- then you go your way I go mine

Kanishka Gupta is a twenty four year old writer and absurdist poet from New Delhi, India.
She has written four novels currently under consideration for publication and has written
a collection of poems titled ' Megalomania and other poems'

© 2006 Underground Voices