I open myself up

The blade just one rusted
I do it right down the middle
The belly splits easily
A leakage dripping down the sides
Like some bad stigmata
But amidst all the stink
Of entrails and gluttony
I find no sign
Of the tapeworm.
I lift flaps of flesh
And ropes of matter
But still...
No sign
And I was so sure
I could feel it moving,
On the blood
Of all my bad impulses
But if there's no worm
Then what could be
Moving, in there?
After hollowing myself
Completely out...
I become convinced
The worm has died
And I've already
Passed it and I
Make a mental note
To take a closer
Look at what
Passes through
Before I flush it
Into oblivion.
Because without a
There is only
And that's just
Too much to bear.

I never told you before, but...

It was the way you told me...
Like stretching something over
Everything I leaned on
to keep me afloat,
Like pulling it up
and over my head,
Not quite suffocating,
But still
Making the soft
pulling in of air
A struggle.
Something about
the way
you leaned in
and whispered,
Not even secretive
Not to hit
So hard
making me
Too aware,
Of how alone
We had suddenly
It was at that moment
With the quiet pressing
Against us...
And the fear
Passing over
Both our eyes
I converted...
Never questioning
Never looking back
Just this trust
Like a warmth
Then this knowing
Once and forever after
That you would be
The most beautiful
I would ever
In this
Or any other

2004 Underground Voices