UNDERGROUND VOICES: 2013 PRINT ANTHOLOGY

RONAN BARBOUR

Crabgrass

It never really
occurred to me
that I could wake up
one day
and not like the way
this story was going,
that I
might not be able to
find the time
to change it.

I guess I always
thought it would end
like a highly
touching and satisfying movie
and when the credits
rolled
I would know all the
names
even those that were
dicks to work with
well now it would all
be over
and what was left of
me in soul
would have to smile
thinking it all
worked out
in the grand shape
in the end.

But now I wake up
sometimes in the
middle of the night
or early morning
and I wonder with
panic
murmuring my heart
how I could suddenly
find myself
trapped in a role
I no longer know,
trapped
in a plot where I
don't trust the author
anymore
after some obscene
twists.

Not that I'm ready to
quit it
just yet
you know
I've worked too hard
to get
this far into the
story
and even if it's
starting to get kind
of slow
the work of this role
is really
all that I know.

And I guess I'm still
blessed to be able to play the part
even if it's not at
all what I expected
it is good to be
working, after all
while there are so
many replacements
waiting in the
wings.


Ronan Barbour was born in Canada to an Irish Mother and Canadan father and moved to the U.S. when he was nearly five. He currently lives in Los Angeles, California.







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