Sitting on Glass

When you are young & arrogant
or just plain stupid
boundaries seem more malleable
more open to interpretation
less relevant
easier to test or shatter
especially if you donít give a fuck
about the opinions of others-
of friends, family members, workmates, the government- you name it
& you have moved thousands of kilometres to avoid your past, authority,
in its simplest form
you think the whole world revolves around you
& really OWES you
& you take heavily to the bottle because its fun & crazy &
opens up new possibilities in you & others
& you think itís better to die young than to fade away-
like a decrepit old man stinking with cancer of the ass hole.

I was probably feeling such angst the day
my partner invited over some people from her play group
for my sonís fourth birthday in Croydon Park.
we were outwardly a happy & articulate couple
but always on the verge of collapse within
we both had an obsession about controlling the situation,
& paradoxically,
I always felt most alive when the everyday semblance of order
was on the brink
like a falling deck of cards

I remember the day in fragments-
soaked in the euphoric haze of a 4 litre cask of Riesling
I remember playing with the kids in the back yard
shouting at them
I remember precariously walking along the canal to the park
climbing on the monkey bars & pushing swings & jumping on the merry-go-round
I remember laughing & drinking with flatmate Tony up to the bottleshop
& later pissed as a mute in the backyard after the parents & kids had left

& I remember waking up the next day
hungover, tearing away the blood stained sheets
to reveal a gaping, wound, requiring several stitches
on the inside upper part of my left leg

GD Anderson was born in Montreal and presently teaches in Sydney, Australia.
He has published dozens of poems recently (or forthcoming) in a variety of
publications worldwide; including- New England Review, LINQ, Divan, Five
Bells, Muse Apprentice Guild, Unlikely Stories, Thunder Sandwich, Social
Alternatives, Zygote in My Coffee, My Favorite Bullet, The School Magazine
and Another Toronto Quarterly and several others. He edits the student
literary magazine Ephemeral.

© 2005 Underground Voices