i report with satisfaction
to you my friend that
the sadness and anxiousness of withdrawal
even though i went only 48 hours
without drinking
and last night drank too much
i report again with satisfaction that
though it was not so very much
(8 drinks between 6pm and midnight)
it made me stupid
then irrationally angry
then unconscious for about an hour
then headachy nauseated and
didn’t i say that drink at least dulls and disperses my anger?
well, not always—
sometimes just the opposite.

i say things.
not the proverbial “things-i-don’t-mean” but rather
things that surprise me.

i have no idea whether i mean them, my friend.
no idea.

and so—pleased to report to you that i am
depressingly sober
though i am drinking again.
the best of both worlds, you see:
i probably couldn’t stand it
if being sober
actually made me feel

I started writing poetry a few years ago in a moment of emotional
intensity, got decent results, and kept at it. My poems now appear
in Slipstream, Nerve Cowboy, Thunder Sandwich, Spent Meat, and Remark.
A 2003 Pushcart Prize nominee, I’ve taught freshman English at nearly
every college in the Buffalo, NY area.

© 2005 Underground Voices